So, as promised, I am going to share the story of how I met my arch nemesis.
Over break, I went to the Arrowhead restaurant with my grandmother for lunch. Now, this place is usually filled with old people, and everyone talks to everyone else, but they usually aren't huge assholes. As soon as we sat down, the old man sitting behind me asked me to stand up so he could read my shirt. It was an O&N shirt that says "Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the actors who pissed me off."
Apparently he didn't like that. He asked me if that was my mother I was with. I said that it was, in fact, my grandmother and he asked if she approved of my shirt. I said that she did, just to get him to shut up and go away, and he informed me that he did not approve of it.
He left me alone for a little while, until the waitress came. As she was leaving, he turned to me and said, "I thought you would have asked her for more hair." I didn't even know how to respond to that. It was a completely unprovoked bald joke from a total stranger. I gave him a kind of half smile/half grimace/half annoyed look.
He finished his meal without annoying me further, until he got up to pay. He stopped at our table and the following ensued:
Him: "So do you go to school?"
Me: "I did. I graduated from college two years ago."
Him: "So why isn't your mom here? Does she have to work to support you?"
Me: *complete shock*
My gram: ..."His mom's a school teacher, she's at school."
Me: (after recovering from my shock) "I work at a theatre in South Carolina. I'm home visitng. My mother is working...."
He then went on to talk about how his daughter is in Kentucky, but that's too far to drive in one day, so he never sees her. He then paid his bill and left. My gram turned to me after he left and asked who he was. My response? "I don't know, I thought you knew him...."
I'm still not sure what I did to provoke a strange old man to continually insult me, but I picture our next meeting as something akin to Peter and the giant chicken on Family Guy.