Hi, my name is Torrey and I have a problem. I suck at taking care of myself. I eat constantly. Take today for example. I started out ok, had a granola bar for breakfast, spaghetti for lunch... then I started to eat everything in sight. I started with a pre-supper peanut butter and jelly... which turned into two peanut butter and jellies. Then came a bowl of cereal and 4 Reese's cups. At which point I should have been more than satisfied, but I decided to go to Arby's. I wasn't even hungry and I had this huge, greasy meal. What the hell? I do this all the time. Sometimes it's not fast food, I just eat all the healthy food that I've bought for a week in one sitting. Still not good.
Now, when I'm exercising regularly and feeling good about myself, I eat more normally and have much more self-control. The problem is, I CANNOT seem to make myself stick to a workout routine. I did the P90 workouts religiously... for about a week and a half. Now I do them maybe twice a week. (Sorry, Josh and Megan. :-P) I'm too stingy to join a gym, and I love running, but until I get back in shape, I don't want to run in public, so I think I'm at an impasse.
I'm sure if I went to a therapist, they would discover some deep emotional or mental reason that I keep sabotaging my weight loss and happiness, but since I can't afford a therapist, and don't really like talking, that probably won't happen any time soon. In the meantime, if anyone wants to move in with me and watch my every move and forbid me to eat when I'm not hungry, please feel free.
Probably connected with this whole situation is my extreme laziness. I've had two days off, and I've done absolutely nothing. I cleaned for, like, 15 minutes this morning, and I ran to Wal-Mart tonight. That's it. In the past 48 hours. My house should be spotless, I should have a tray of some kind of baked goods to take to work tomorrow, I should have exercised at least twice.... But I sat around and watched The O.C. for countless hours instead. I'm even too lazy to call my mom or return my grandmother's letter. (I'll call tomorrow night, Mom, I swear. If not, call me. I should get off at 5.)
If anyone has any suggestions on how to cure my laziness, lack of willpower, and binge eating, please offer them up. (And stuff like 'just make yourself do it' isn't helpful. I've tried that. I fail.) I need a life coach.
P.S. Sorry this is such a bitchy, whine-y post. I'm just angry and frustrated at myself. I'll post something funny and/or optimistic and/or happy soon, I promise. :-P
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
My Arch Nemesis
So, as promised, I am going to share the story of how I met my arch nemesis.
Over break, I went to the Arrowhead restaurant with my grandmother for lunch. Now, this place is usually filled with old people, and everyone talks to everyone else, but they usually aren't huge assholes. As soon as we sat down, the old man sitting behind me asked me to stand up so he could read my shirt. It was an O&N shirt that says "Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the actors who pissed me off."
Apparently he didn't like that. He asked me if that was my mother I was with. I said that it was, in fact, my grandmother and he asked if she approved of my shirt. I said that she did, just to get him to shut up and go away, and he informed me that he did not approve of it.
He left me alone for a little while, until the waitress came. As she was leaving, he turned to me and said, "I thought you would have asked her for more hair." I didn't even know how to respond to that. It was a completely unprovoked bald joke from a total stranger. I gave him a kind of half smile/half grimace/half annoyed look.
He finished his meal without annoying me further, until he got up to pay. He stopped at our table and the following ensued:
Him: "So do you go to school?"
Me: "I did. I graduated from college two years ago."
Him: "So why isn't your mom here? Does she have to work to support you?"
Me: *complete shock*
My gram: ..."His mom's a school teacher, she's at school."
Me: (after recovering from my shock) "I work at a theatre in South Carolina. I'm home visitng. My mother is working...."
He then went on to talk about how his daughter is in Kentucky, but that's too far to drive in one day, so he never sees her. He then paid his bill and left. My gram turned to me after he left and asked who he was. My response? "I don't know, I thought you knew him...."
I'm still not sure what I did to provoke a strange old man to continually insult me, but I picture our next meeting as something akin to Peter and the giant chicken on Family Guy.
Over break, I went to the Arrowhead restaurant with my grandmother for lunch. Now, this place is usually filled with old people, and everyone talks to everyone else, but they usually aren't huge assholes. As soon as we sat down, the old man sitting behind me asked me to stand up so he could read my shirt. It was an O&N shirt that says "Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the actors who pissed me off."
Apparently he didn't like that. He asked me if that was my mother I was with. I said that it was, in fact, my grandmother and he asked if she approved of my shirt. I said that she did, just to get him to shut up and go away, and he informed me that he did not approve of it.
He left me alone for a little while, until the waitress came. As she was leaving, he turned to me and said, "I thought you would have asked her for more hair." I didn't even know how to respond to that. It was a completely unprovoked bald joke from a total stranger. I gave him a kind of half smile/half grimace/half annoyed look.
He finished his meal without annoying me further, until he got up to pay. He stopped at our table and the following ensued:
Him: "So do you go to school?"
Me: "I did. I graduated from college two years ago."
Him: "So why isn't your mom here? Does she have to work to support you?"
Me: *complete shock*
My gram: ..."His mom's a school teacher, she's at school."
Me: (after recovering from my shock) "I work at a theatre in South Carolina. I'm home visitng. My mother is working...."
He then went on to talk about how his daughter is in Kentucky, but that's too far to drive in one day, so he never sees her. He then paid his bill and left. My gram turned to me after he left and asked who he was. My response? "I don't know, I thought you knew him...."
I'm still not sure what I did to provoke a strange old man to continually insult me, but I picture our next meeting as something akin to Peter and the giant chicken on Family Guy.
Let's do this.
Sorry it's been so long since I posted, but I have two posts for today. One about my new career, and one about an obnoxious old man who may be my new arch nemesis.
So while I was home, my friends Marcy, Debbie, and I were talking about jobs and moving away, and how there has to be a job that everyone can love, no matter how much they hate working. While on this topic, I began talking about how much I would love to open my own business. Possibilities discussed were a bookstore/cafe, a bakery, a catering business, and a theatre.
I've been putting serious thought into the idea of a bookstore. Since I just started a Buffy marathon, I've decided that it will be an exact replica of the Buffy high school library. Think about it, it's perfect.
The check-out desk can be where we sell coffee, smoothies, baked goods, etc. Giles's office can be where the ovens and storage are. The cage where they lock Oz up can be an office, as well as a showcase for any rare/expensive books. There's plenty of space in the center for couches, tables, chairs, etc.
I could go all the way with the Buffy theme and hire a spunky blonde girl, a brainy red-headed girl, a goofy brunette guy, and an older British man as my staff, but that might not happen. :-P
I'm not sure if I would want to go with used books, new books, or a combination. Probably a combination. I love used book stores, but I think I would also want to provide some new books, comics, and/or magazines. As for the cafe part, I don't know if I would want to delve into espresso drinks right away, but I would do at least basic coffee, tea, hot chocolate, smoothies, etc. I would have fresh muffins, cookies, sticky buns, and other baked goodies. Eventually, I could offer lunch things like paninis and sandwiches, and work my way up to espresso drinks. I can have a little corner up front to sell stuff that I make... afghans, quilts, canned goods, etc.
I'm not sure where I want to do this. I could stick close to home in PA, but I'd probably go out of business fairly quickly, as middle-of-nowhere, PA isn't the best place to open a business. I don't know that I would want a big city, though, either. I don't know... I'll have to put more thought into it.
As you can see, this is definitely going to happen. I plan on buying a store in the next few months, remodeling, building up inventory, and opening by next fall. Or... it can be a pipe dream and I'll keep applying for theatre jobs and internships. lol
So while I was home, my friends Marcy, Debbie, and I were talking about jobs and moving away, and how there has to be a job that everyone can love, no matter how much they hate working. While on this topic, I began talking about how much I would love to open my own business. Possibilities discussed were a bookstore/cafe, a bakery, a catering business, and a theatre.
I've been putting serious thought into the idea of a bookstore. Since I just started a Buffy marathon, I've decided that it will be an exact replica of the Buffy high school library. Think about it, it's perfect.
The check-out desk can be where we sell coffee, smoothies, baked goods, etc. Giles's office can be where the ovens and storage are. The cage where they lock Oz up can be an office, as well as a showcase for any rare/expensive books. There's plenty of space in the center for couches, tables, chairs, etc.
I could go all the way with the Buffy theme and hire a spunky blonde girl, a brainy red-headed girl, a goofy brunette guy, and an older British man as my staff, but that might not happen. :-P
I'm not sure if I would want to go with used books, new books, or a combination. Probably a combination. I love used book stores, but I think I would also want to provide some new books, comics, and/or magazines. As for the cafe part, I don't know if I would want to delve into espresso drinks right away, but I would do at least basic coffee, tea, hot chocolate, smoothies, etc. I would have fresh muffins, cookies, sticky buns, and other baked goodies. Eventually, I could offer lunch things like paninis and sandwiches, and work my way up to espresso drinks. I can have a little corner up front to sell stuff that I make... afghans, quilts, canned goods, etc.
I'm not sure where I want to do this. I could stick close to home in PA, but I'd probably go out of business fairly quickly, as middle-of-nowhere, PA isn't the best place to open a business. I don't know that I would want a big city, though, either. I don't know... I'll have to put more thought into it.
As you can see, this is definitely going to happen. I plan on buying a store in the next few months, remodeling, building up inventory, and opening by next fall. Or... it can be a pipe dream and I'll keep applying for theatre jobs and internships. lol
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